Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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