when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
