I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Drunk is a universal language darling
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
