drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
