u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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