He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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