About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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