so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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