Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

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(305): View more from Florida

She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.

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(845): View more from New York

i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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(214): View more from Texas

Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

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(406): View more from Montana

Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now

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