he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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