We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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