people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
