It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
one might say we're banned from that church
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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