i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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