I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
