does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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