you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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