I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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