i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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