I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
