Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is my gift to your gina
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
