i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was born a porn star she said
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
