he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Someone came in the potted fern
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
