i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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