is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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