Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
