singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
