that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
