i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
