i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish i was in the wii world.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Randomize
