Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
