These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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