I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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