Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
