More tranny stories later!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
