Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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