Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm too high and old for this...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
