Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
