I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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