oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
