Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
