Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
