i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize