I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
