I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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