yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
