Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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