is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
