In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
