Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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