Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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