So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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